How we got here

Found out I was pregnant in the spring of 09. It was quite unexpected. I wasn't sure I even wanted another baby....or could handle another one. During my first office visit I was diagnosed with polyhydramnios (excess amniotic fluid.) There are only a couple of known causes of that, one of which is DS. We did many sonograms, and Down Syndrome was not seen. Diabetes is another..... Nope, sugars were normal. Maybe the baby's plumbing isnt working correctly?.... Looks to be working as expected. We just figured it was just an unknown cause and the Dr would keep a close eye on my measurements- which didn't bother me at all. My Dr had a brand new 3d ultrasound with a big flat screen on the wall in front of me and I had to get frequent ultrasounds. That's like every expected mother's dream!!
One ultrasound on the Monday after Christmas looked a little off.The fluid had suddenly dropped below normal.
My Dr felt a little uneasy, so he sent me to be monitored in labor and delivery and ordered a steroid shot to help develop the baby's lungs just in case we had to deliver within the next week or so. I wasn't due until February. Long story short.....3 hours later I had a beautiful 3lb 12oz baby girl. She was beautiful. I only saw her for a second before she was rushed to the PNICU.

     I was just getting wheeled in and situated in my room after recovery when a Dr came in to update me on my little baby. He said she was healthy, breathing well, lungs were developed properly, but....."We think she may have Down Syndrome."  I tried to fight back the tears that were welling up in my eyes. I tried to act like he didnt just tell me that. I dare not look at my husband sitting across the room. I waited for the nurse to finish my bedding, and locking my bed into place, and then when she left the room, I looked over at Gary and the tears just began to fall freely. I fought them, I mad myself stop, and I just wanted to see her. Eventually they wheeled me into the PNICU and I laid eyes on my sweet girl, whom I immediately named Hope. I looked at all the tubes and wires, and touched her little hand and realized I just didnt care. I didnt care what she had,I loved her so much. I immediately had a bond with her that I never had with any other.  I felt so comforted when I held her. I was so lucky to have her.