Wednesday, January 12, 2011

My favorite posting from a favorite blog.....

I hope she doesn't mind, but I had to post Kelli's post "It's in the eyes..." from her Living Life with the E's blog. I couldnt have written it better or sweeter.


It's in the Eyes...

Since Emily's birth I have read countless birth stories told by other parents of a child with Down Syndrome...and it seems most of them recall that before anyone told them, they knew about that extra chromosome as soon as they looked at their child's eyes.  The same can be said for my husband and I...we both noticed Emily's eyes immediately, even though neither of us said anything about them to each other.  Over the past year I have thought about those moments after her birth...I didn't know Emily had Down Syndrome at the time, but I knew her eyes were telling me something profound.

At first Emily's eyes told me of a life that would be different, difficult, and possibly one that would be full of despair unimaginable at that point.  Her eyes were evidence, a feature the Dr would use to tell us our beautiful baby girl had Down Syndrome.  Though I am ashamed to say it now,  Emily's eyes conjured up such feelings of fear and sadness I had never felt before that I didn't want to look at pictures of her where those beautiful baby blues were captured up close.  The eyes were a reminder that my daughter was different and because of that..I was now different...and no longer "normal".   There were days I would wake up and had almost forgotten about the down syndrome...only to see her eyes and feel my heart breaking and mourning the loss of the child I thought I wanted...the one with a "perfect" set of chromosomes...the one that never existed beyond my imagination.

After Emily was born I remember her staring deeply into my eyes, without interuption, as if to say "look at them, look at my eyes, they will tell you everything you need to know"...and they have. Those eyes have told me the truth about the life of my perfect little Emily.  There just isn't any room for darkness in their sparkle!  Every day that I get to wake up to those little peepers is a blessing I could never have imagined for myself, but God knew I needed.

Emily's eyes are my very favorite feature of hers...they are so captivating that if you look  into them you will have no choice but to be swallowed up into her world, a world of such beauty I was incapable of seeing before.  Though it may be a while before she can utter the words "I love you Mommy", the sparkle in her eyes when she sees me has told me of such love more times than I can count.  Emily's eyes even tell me when I am about to score the most incredible smile I have ever seen, one that starts as a small glimmer of light and moves all the way through her body.  Those big blue eyes tell me of a life that is different, but so full of purpose.  Emily was right in her plea to me on the day she was born...if I look into her eyes I see a  life bursting with promise and blessing.  When I find myself lost in the world of early intervention, leukemia, dr. appointments, failed hearing tests, and many other distractions...I will look into those incredible eyes, bearing those signature brushfield spots, and they will tell me everything I really need to know.

(an older picture, but one that captures one of the most beautiful sites I will ever see in this lifetime)


Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy odd-1st B-day

When I was pregnant with Hope (which was a huge surprise to begin with) I found out she was due in Feb 2010. That kinda sucked because all my kids are odd years, and truthfully thats how I remember their bdays. I have a 2003,2005, 2007, and now a 2010..sux! After a routine sonogram on December 28, 2009, I had a baby  3 hours later. So despite, the 3lb 12oz birth weight and the 2 weeks in the PNICU, I got my odd year!
So, on Hopes 1st b-day we made sugar cookies and decorated them. Hope just mastered feeding herself about a month ago, so she was ready to dig in!

Christmas morning

Christmas was nice. The kids had a good time. We got home late Christmas Eve and the kids just went to bed in their clothes. So they were fully dressed on Christmas morning. They all had so much fun. Of course, Hope just sat and smiled. Everyday is fun to her. The kids were showing her how awesome her presents were and she just grabbed their face and thought how awesome THEY were. It's amazing to see such pure love and joy. It's even more amazing to feel it, every single day. We are so so blessed. This has honestly been the best year of my far...

Hope the runny nose reindeer

We couldn't resist the reindeer sleeper at Target. Seriously....Cutest reindeer EVER! I bet I took a hundred pictures of her in that thing!!!! My very favorite picture is a closeup her big sister took of her. It is the perfect picture..or WOULD have been, minus the snot!!!

We did get a few non-snotty pics during Parker's(big sis) Christmas musical at school. They love each other so much. Parker was so excited to see Hope watching her, She couldn't wait to show her off to all of her reindeer friends.

                                                                       Dang sun!!!

80's Chandler

One night I put Hope to bed with both her ponytails still in. The next morning I heard her talking and went in there to see her. She always gives me a huge smile that almost makes her fall over, and I always say in a cheerful voice "Good morning to you!:)" Well....I came in the other morning, and her ponytails had come out and when she heard me come in her room, she lifted up her head and I had to laugh. I said "Well, good morning to you 80's Chandler!" The first thing that came to my mind was Chandler bing off of Friends during the 80's flashbacks. Sooo....By day she's Hopie Dopie Doo , By night....80's Chandler!